Pegasus is Stupid 2 The Dreaded Sequel
by Yami-chan and Unrealistic
Summary: By UR. New chapter 82303. Is what the title says. Yugi is evil. Ryou is out to prove the existance of paranormal archeology and everyone else isn't much better off.
1. And now the returning cast oh the joy

****

Pegasus is Stupid The Dreaded Sequel

I don't know why I'm doing this. I think it was because I still felt the need to torture more anime characters. I didn't put Bakura in my last fic, because he hadn't appeared yet. He will get much bashing. Mai is also here and I'll even put in Joey's sister! Basically every one who wasn't in the last fic will get more bashing then usual, unless I go overboard… Hey, it was you reviewers who wanted a sequel! Here it is!

If you can guess what cartoon, not anime, cartoon character I modeled Ryou after, you get a rubber chicken, just like last time. Your hint is the show is on Nickelodeon.

Disclaimer: If I owned them, most of my fics would be on TV by now.

It was a bright, sunny day and Ryou was bored. His evil aibou was, at the moment, poking at a dead puppy and laughing insanely at every poke. It was all because of Yu-gi-oh. Whoever he dueled and won against became either dead or insane. Ryou had only just recently found out that his other half was not dead, but alive and insane.

Ryou was watching his evil half be insane from a lawn chair in the backyard of his home. Ryou sighed. When he had tried to explain the whole 'other half' thing to his dad, he merely scoffed and said he should try his hand at 'real archeology'. Ryou had his own dreams. He wanted to be a paranormal archeologist.

There was only one problem. No one would believe his theories, even though the proof- Bakura- was right in front of their eyes. It made him frustrated. Ryou sighed at his musings and closed his eyes. He wished there was something to do.

"JOOOOEEEEEEYYYYYY!" In less then a second Joey Wheeler came rushing to his little sister's side.

"Yes, my dearest darling sister, what can I get for you this wonderful afternoon?"

As you all know after the whole 'Pokemon/Pegasus' incident, Joey became a famous stock-broker, making tons of money and therefore able to pay for his sister's surgery. Unfortunately his 'dearest darling sister' wasn't so darling anymore. 

Before Joey's return, Serenity had run into a street gang while walking home from school. One of their parents _must _have had some kind of dealing with these type of things, because both children had inherited the ability to act tough and fight… very well.

After beating up the gang's leader they had invited Serenity to join them. She accepted. After that Serenity named the gang after a widely known group of super heroes known as 'The Powerpuff Girls'. Most of the guys quit after that and went into group therapy.

Serenity's character hadn't changed since. Joey came totally unprepared. "Joey, will you take me to the fair today? I haven't been to a fair in soooooo long." Joey was dressed the same as he always was, only now a days he kept a little white towel around his left arm, butler style.

"Serenity, today I have to meet with some old friends…" Joey didn't get a chance to finish his sentence. Serenity glared at her older brother. 

"You _will _take me to the fair today, Joseph. I never intended to give you a choice… in anything! You are my servant and you will take me where ever I want to go!" Joey freaked.

"I'll go get the car started my dearest darling sister."

"That's a good big brother."

"So, Yami, where do you want to go today?" 

Yami cringed. That… red-haired girl and her blind friend had been following him ever since he and Yuugi got rid of the millennium puzzle. She had also been swooning over him constantly. At least the blind one was sane. When he didn't see any pretty girls that is.

"I don't know nor do I care." 

Misty frowned, then smiled. Her new love interest was obviously playing hard to get, yet in a different fashion Ash had. She smirked. Her new plan was bound to work.

"Yami, why don't we go to Cerulean City? We can visit my sisters." 

Yami grumbled. "Fine, whatever." 

Brock came up quickly behind them. "Did you say visit your… beautiful _older _sisters?" 

"Yes, Brock, but please, don't scare them this time."

Brock wasn't listening; he was swooning over the memories of his companion's sisters. Misty figured this. If Yami was so incredibly hot as he was to her he'd be ever hotter to her sisters. They'd give him so much pain that he'd go running back to her. It was perfect. So ingeniously perfect.

"I, Tristan Taylor, call this meeting of the _Anime Men with Spiky Hair Society_ to order at…" Tristan looked at his watch. "... at 2:03 in the afternoon." 

Tristan gave a glance at his young secretary, Mondo, who was trying his hardest to write down everything. The kid had _really _small handwriting for a boy in the eight grade.

"Getting right down to business, would the Vice-President please do role call?" 

Matt stood up so everyone could see him. "How many from the Pokemon world?" 

"One," replied Prof. Oak "The others couldn't make it today on account of… different problems." 

Mondo furiously wrote it down.

"Digimon world?" 

"Four," said Tai, the Digimon president. Beside him sat TK and Davis and, of course, Matt up front.

"Dragonball Z?"

"Six today," said Goku. With him was Vegeta, Gohan, Yamcha, Yajerobi, the back-from-the-dead-for-some-reason Radditz and little Goten.

"Gundam Wing?" said Matt. The only thing that was heard was the sound of Trowa Barton hitting his head against the table.

"Couldn't get Heero to come again?" asked Tristan. Trowa merely slammed his head against the table again. Matt nodded and continued.

"Yu-Gi-Oh?"

"I'm the only one here," replied Tristan. Mondo's paper looked like it was going to catch on fire any second now. The kid was really dedicated to his job.

"Mon Collie Knights?"

"Three," said Professor Hiragi. With him were Tenaka and Mondo being secretary.

"That's about it."

"Thanks Matt. Now it's time for the Treasurers report, Radditz? 

In the shadows, you can see two dark and mysterious figures. Both are smiling maniacally. The evil in the room could be sensed for miles away. That would explain what put Sakura Avalon and Keroberos in horrible fear and are racing... er flying towards the building along with Trunks and a handful of Digimon that will remain nameless because they will not appear in this fic again.

Focusing our attention back to the figures, they still had a maniacal smile on each of their faces making one wonder if it would ever wipe off. Anyway, the figures were vastly different. In fact, the only similarity they had with each other was that they were evil and they shared the same voice actor, Ted Lewis. *****

Upon getting a closer look at the two there was one who stood out. He was more then half the other's size and had bright blonde hair that penetrated the dark. What was weirder was that Yuugi still had his school uniform and tennis shoes on for some odd reason.

Giovanni glanced down (still smiling!) at his young apprentice. Yes, this one was much better then that Ketchum kid.

"So, little Yuugi. Where shall we rain terror today?" 

Yuugi quit smiling maniacally and started smiling sickeningly cute. " I want to got to the fair today! I wanna blow up the farris wheel! The Earth has no need for things like those…"**

Giovanni looked at his pupil quite strangely, but did not press the subject.

Mai Valentine walked through the pathways of the county fair. She didn't know what county it was. All she cared about was that fact that Joseph Wheeler lived here and knowing his sister, they'd both be here. She wanted to pay him back for what he'd done to her and she vowed to herself that she'd get him good. Sure, he did many good and bad things to her in the past, but she wanted to make sure he knew how she felt about it all. Whether he liked it or not.

"Mai, it's quite a pleasure seeing you here." 

Mai turned around to see Bakura and his evil aibou in tow.

"That other half of yours still insane?"

"Yup." At the moment Bakura was hugging his dead puppy. Petting it as if it were alive. "So what are you doing here?" he asked in his large English accent.

"I heard that Joseph was going to be here and I wanted to give him something. How about you?"

"Well, I was getting bored and my dark and insane twin isn't really helping much. Lately, I've been trying to figure out if the mysteries of 'The Mummy' actually exist. I'm getting really close to proving it is. I've found The Book of the Dead and The Book of the Living, but if I can find Imohotep's burial site I'll be regarded in the history books as the greatest archeologist in history! Pyramids Magazine will put me on the front cover!"

"You're crazy. Maybe as bad as your twin over there."

"Sure, you all ridicule me now! But you just wait! I'll prove you all wrong!!!"

"Cut it out, Ryou. You're making half the park stare at us and you 'dark twin' is attracting the other half." 

Apparently, Bakura had decided that it would be fun to share his puppy's happiness with everyone. The half rotted and very dead puppy's happiness, that is.

"Oh no! YAMI!"

"All right everyone. Remember, your job as anime women today is to recruit as many other women to our group as possible. Everyone understand?"

T'ea looked out proudly at her group. They were ranged from veterans to novices on their first mission. However, the women's names will not be mentioned for two reasons. One: I'm lazy and two: it keeps the suspense up.

"Ready women? Commence mission!" With that, all the women went out to recruit more members to the Anime Women Torture the Anime Guys Society. But, before they could get far, the 'enemy' appeared.

"T'ea Gardener…"

"Tristan Taylor…"

"What are you doing here T'ea? Putting fear into the hearts of innocent men?"

"Unfortunately, no. Our purpose here is to recruit as many members as possible."

"Strange, that's our objective too. Say T'ea, why don't you and I make a little bet to see who can recruit the most members to their own society? Whoever wins gets to pick a person from the opposite organization and force them to join the other side. How about it?"

"Your challenge is accepted. You'd better be ready to join the girls, Tristan."

"No, you'd better be ready to join us, T'ea."

"We'll just see about that…"

"Yami, let's go through the tunnel of love together."

"…No."

"Please?"

"No, now let go of my arm."

"Oh, please, Yami. Just this once?"

"Quit playing with my hair and for the final time, NO!" 

Misty growled. Because of Brock and her's Pokemon lineage, it was taking a large amount of time to get to Cerulean City. It also made them stop at every singe tourist attraction in sight. Including this fair.

Brock had left them to do him normal search for females, which left Yami to look out for himself against Misty. It was a battle of wills and it was dead even between the two. The King of Games had finally met his match.

"Hey Yami!" 

Yami halted. He hadn't heard * that * voice since the tournament. 

"Joey…" he croaked. Yami was extremely happy to see Joey after all these months. Traveling around the country with Misty and Brock had been getting to his head. Just hearing a normal voice for once made him a very happy semi-evil spirit.

"Yami, it's great to see ya! My sister has been driving me crazy and I haven't seen anyone from the old gang in almost a year!"

"I know it's hard Joey, I'm equally glad to see you."

Both boys heard a loud cough from behind them.

"Is there something I'm missing?" asked Misty slightly annoyed. Before she could get an answer, Serenity came up to them.

"Where have you been big brother? I had to _walk _all the way over here only to find you chatting away with a little insignificant speck you call a friend. My feet are highly sensitive to the ground, Joseph."

Joey sighed and put his sister on his back. "We're heading over to the roller coaster. You want to come too?" Without answering, Yami grabbed Misty' s arm and started heading off towards the roller coaster.

"… So, what's your name?"

"… My name is Domon Kasshu. How about you, stranger?"

"… I have no name. If you must call me something, call me No-name."

"Okay…"

"Do you consider yourself to have spiky hair?"

****

Now for the girls of Gundam series…

"But… why would you want to torture anime guys? It's not peaceful, Rain."

"There was never an anime guy who didn't deserve to be tortured. That's our motto."

"Well, but hatred will only bring about more hatred!"

"Ummm, what did you say you name was again?"

"Relena. Relena Peacecraft."

****

DBZ…

"Hi Brolli! Do you want to join the Anime Men with Spiky Hair Society?!"

"Kakarot…"

****

Girls…

"You! Over there!" screamed Bulma.

"Me?" asked Videl

"Yes, you. You are now a member of the Anime Women Torture the Anime Guys Society. Welcome."

"But, what if I don't want to join?"

"I'd like you to meet my friend, Chi-Chi. She has with her, a frying pan…"

****

Mon Collie Knights…

Over in a secluded portion of the fair, Prince Exentro lay on a lawn chair, reading a magazine. All of a sudden a shadow was overcast upon him. He looked up. "Get away, brat. We're not even in Mon World." Mondo continued to stand there.

"Sit still, Exentro. I'm going to make your hair spiky…" 

****

Girls…

"… And that's the whole story, so do you two want to join?" Gluko smiled and kept it glued on her face. Batch just sat there and listened to Rockna's story. 

"So," said Batch," if we join we'll be taught how to deal with men and never be on the wrong side of the 'food chain' again?"

"That's right," said Rockna.

"Sounds cool. I'll join."

"Great! How about you, Gluko?"

"Oh, I'll already a member. The reason I act stupid all the time is to annoy Prince Excentro…"

****

For Yu-Gi-Oh… and continuing the fanfic.

"Bakura!" Both twins turned at the sound of their name. 'Normal' Bakura, Ryou, answered the call.

"Tristan? I haven't seen you in a while. What brings you here?"

"I'm recruiting men for our organization. It's called the Anime Men with Spiky Hair Society. Would you like to join?"

"Can my puppy friend join?" asked Yami Bakura. The other three present looked oddly at the aibou of the paranormal freak.

"No," said Tristan, "It doesn't have spiky hair and it's a dog, not a guy." The next events happened a little too quickly. First, Bakura started to swell up with tears. Then T'ea joined them and tried to recruit Mai, but didn't succeed. Then, as quickly as the tears had come to Bakura, they left and Bakura responded with the happiest "Okay!" that the group had ever heard.

The next event came with much rejoicing. "Yami, look! There they are!" Mai's ears perked up. It was Joey. The time for him to pay was coming soon. With Joey was his sister, Yami-formally Yami Yuugi- and some red-haired girl who looked very angry.

After introductions everyone was happy. Everyone was almost together. We had Yami, both Bakuras, Mai, Tristan, Te'a, Joey, his sister and Misty. However, one person from the original group was missing… Yuugi.

"What ever happened to Yuugi, anyway?" asked Joey. Of course, no one knew the answer. Suddenly, a voice came out of the shadows. 

"I'll tell you what happened to Yuugi. But none of you will live to tell about it…"

****

To be continued…

****

*= Ted Lewis really does do the voices for Yuugi and Giovanni. He also did the voice for Tracey during the Orange Island series.

**= Any Gundam Wing fans out there? It's a revision of Quatre's line when he went insane. He's looking at an amusement park and says, "The colonies have no need for things like these…" or something to that extent.

From the desk of Unrealistic…

I decided to make the sequel into two chapters. It may take a while to write though. I know what's going to happen, it's just that right now I'm in my first week of being a freshman in high school and I have a bad feeling about homework…

Funny thing about my science and algebra teachers, though. They have this prank war going on over the years. This is their third year at it… pray for me.

Until Next Time,

Unrealistic :-)

P.S.: Yami-chan and I still haven't found Yuugi and the gang at school! We're freshman! Oh, and any guesses on what Mai wants with Joey? It'll hopefully surprise you. You have until next chapter to guess and to guess what cartoon character I modeled Ryou Bakura after. 


	2. Dah dum dum

****

Pegasus is Stupid The Dreaded Sequel

Second Chapter

"I'll tell you what happened to Yuugi. He's been doing what he was meant to do all along; create evil and chaos." 

The group gasped as the said person walked out of the shadows along with a much taller figure.

It was none other then Yuugi himself. Turned completely evil, of course, but that's beside the point. For a moment, no one could speak. 

Until finally Joey found the right words to say to his former best friend… even though it was technically Yami who was his best friend… Oh, for the love of Pete Joey could have been best friends with _both _of them for all I care!

"Well, Yuugi, I see you've turned over to the dark side." 

At this point a rather loud 'grrrr' from Yami was heard. He was supposed to be the dark side, not his formally goody two shoes hikari. 

"I guess there's nothing I can do to stop you, man. You've chosen but… why the heck are you still wearing your school uniform if you're a bad guy!? Bad guys are supposed to wear black! Black I tell you BLACK!" As Joey continued on his rant of trying to keep the sides of 'evil' and 'good' straight, Mai was itching to give him a good wallop right in the kisser.

"I really can't blame him, Joey," said Tristan," With what's been going on these days, the insanity level has been rising ever since Duelist Kingdom." 

The group collectively nodded in agreement, except for T'ea, for she had a vow never to agree to anything the 'enemy' had to say.

"… And YOU! The tall guy in the red! You're not wearing black either! What is the world coming to?!"

"Shut up, big brother. You're embarrassing me in front of people. Keep it up and I will destroy you…" 

Joey stopped, although he could have gone on for days, he feared his little sister more then anything. Actually, everyone was so wrapped up in listening to Joey, that no one noticed Bakura sneaking up towards Yuugi and Giovanni…

Bakura promptly help out his half rotted puppy to the Team Rocket leader and humbly asked…"Do you want to play with me and my puppy?" 

Giovanni looked from the puppy to Bakura and from Bakura to the puppy. He then fainted. From the shock and the smell. Bakura sighed. No one wanted to play with him. He was a very sad evil spirit. Then, suddenly, he got an idea. One that involved the Millennium Ring and Joey's Time Wizard…

In the meantime, Ryou had been reading an article in a magazine, becoming very bored. As long as his yami wasn't causing any serious problems with his puppy, they were all safe. Although, that might have been a bit too much to ask for.

Yuugi was in shock. A crazy spirit had struck down his mentor lunatic! Yuugi was at loss of what to do. Then, suddenly, he knew exactly what to do…

The 'good guys' were now in a tremendous argument on what they should do. Everyone wanted to end this peacefully and find some way to turn Yuugi back to normal. Everyone but T'ea. She voiced that she wanted Yuugi dead, and that it was the only way, which, of course it wasn't. She just wanted to contradict Tristan. 

Yami was in deep thought. Even though he and his former aibou hadn't gotten along very well, he was still worried for the boy. It was certainly a feeling Yami figured he could never get over. Even though at times Yami felt he could kill the boy for his stupidity. 

As Yami tried to ignore the rest of the group arguing and Misty holding onto his arm rather passionately, he tried to think of a way to get his aibou back to normal. Then, suddenly the plan struck him as plain as day.

"Hey, guys…" Yami started. 

The group didn't listen. Tristan and T'ea were literally at each other's throats. Ryou was still reading his magazine, while trying to explain to Misty his many archeological theories on ancient Egypt. Joey was in a heated discussion with his sister and Bakura. Serenity wanted to go play bumper cars, while Bakura held on to Joey's arm, whining to go on the teacup ride. Serenity promptly held on tight to Joey's other arm and the evil spirit and the 'modern day human' fought over possession of Joseph Wheeler. 

Yami growled, then yelled with all his might… "SHUT UP!" 

Everyone was now paying rapt attention to the former pharaoh. 

"I have a plan to get Yuugi back to normal, but I need everyone's cooperation. Ryou, I need to borrow the Change of Heart card. As for the rest of you, we will form a search party for the two boys Yuugi and I gave the Millennium Puzzle to."

"Ash and Gary."

"What?"

"I said, their names are Ash Ketchum and Gary Oak. They're both pretty cute, but not as hot as you, Yami…"

"Ah, crud…"

Meanwhile, Yuugi had left the stage. He was on a manhunt. More specifically, for Maximillion Pegasus. He need a mentor, and Giovanni and Pegasus dressed alike… to some degree…

Beside that, Pegasus had the Millennium Eye. From experience, Yuugi knew what the Eye could do and he planned to use its abilities to take over Capsule (or KaibaCorp.?) Corp. and bring back his mortal enemy. Why? Not even Yuugi knew the answer to that question. It was just a little voice inside his head and Yuugi always listened to the voice in his head. What Yuugi failed to realized was that Yami wasn't in his head anymore. It was a different little voice it was…

"Yaayyyyyy!" squealed Bakura. He was now on the Teacup ride sitting next to Joey, who was looking less than excited to be there. Bakura had somehow managed to remember his shadow powers and banished Serenity to the Shadow Realm. While Joey looked like he was going to die of boredom, Bakura took the opportunity to steal the sought after Time Wizard. Once the card was obtained, Bakura leapt off of the slow-moving ride, leaving Joey oblivious to everything.

Bakura ran clear out of the park and summoned the Time Wizard with his Millennium Ring. The Wizard appeared. Bakura then told the Time Wizard where he desired to go. "Take me back to ancient Egypt! I have some friends back then who'd play with me!" The Time Wizard did so and at that moment, Ryou had a strange feeling that something very bad was going to happen, which involved his yami…

In the meantime, Yami was leading a search party for the two boys. A party that including Misty, T'ea, Tristan and himself. Joey had left somewhere and Mai volunteered to go find him. Ryou voiced that he should wait for his yami; otherwise things would happen that Ryou did not want to explain.

****

Meanwhile in the far off regions of Johto….

/Come on Gary! Let me out! /

// Shut up, Loser. I'm going to catch this legendary pokemon. //

/ LENGENDARY POKEMON! WHERE?!" /

// Shut up already! Try and figure out how to play that card game or something. //

/How am I supposed to figure it out? These cards don't even have names on them! /

// Figure out something. People are starting to look at me strangely… Not only do I have a strange upside-down pyramid around my neck, I have to totally space out in order to talk to you! //

****

Well, we won't be seeing them for a while, will we? I guess we'll just have to wait until the next chapter!

**Yes, this story is getting way out of hand. I have much plans for dear Bakura in ancient Egypt… Then Pegasus needs to suffer at the hands of Evil Yuugi and the search party needs to keep failing miserably! **

Suggestions on what to do for this fic is appreciated, but I have my yami to help me! Right Yami-chan?

Silence…

Oh, that's right, she's trying to finish her newest fic 'Lost Souls'. If your looking for a good angst and comedy mix, that's the fic to read! It's about Bakura's past in ancient Egypt. It would have been total angst if it hadn't been for my intervention! I'm so proud.

I also have a run-off of it called 'The Adventures of Yami and Bakura BC 3000' It goes along the lines of 'what if Yami and Bakura were friends when they were little?' A lot of chaos happens, that's what. If you liked my other humor stories, you'd like that one.

****

We have found Yuugi! And Joey… and T'ea… Yami-chan likes to call herself Bakura, so that means I'm Ryou. Seriously though, school is now officially a living fanfic. 'Yuugi-boy' is a boy we talk to at lunch. His friend, who will later become Joey, is a fan of Yu-Gi-Oh, as much as he may disgrace it… 

Then all of a sudden everyone we sit by at lunch wants a Yu-Gi-Oh alias! Our Yuugi friend however seems almost unYuugi like at times. So, for your entertainment, we will have a mini short story entitled 'Yuugi-Boy Demands'. Enjoy!

Yuugi-Boy Demands!

Unrealistic and Yami-chan's Typical Lunch Period

It started out so innocent. It was the fourth Monday of the school year and Unrealistic and Yami-chan were discussing the previous Saturday's Yu-Gi-Oh episode…

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY! YUUGI'S NOT DEAD!" Unrealistic half screamed.

"Face it aibou," said Yami-chan, "Yuugi is dead…."

"NO!"

"Yami said himself 'I can not feel the presence of his young mind.' You can't be in denial forever…"

"YES I CAN! HE'S NOT DEAD!"

"I said it once and I'll say it again 'Hikaris are only good for dying and looking cute'."

"I agree on the cute part but… HE'S NOT DEAD! I REFUSE TO BELIVE IT! If Yuugi is dead, then shouldn't Yami be dead?"

"… No…"

"You lie Yami…" 

Just then, by default, our anime illiterate friends came by. 

"Hey, guys!" said Scorch. (We give Scorch the benefit of a doubt. She doesn't have WB. The poor girl, I promised one day I'd tell her all about Yu-Gi-Oh. She knows a little bit, but she'd really like it if she knew the whole thing.)

Along with Scorch came the boys. They don't have pen names, so I will refer to them as 'Yuugi-boy' and 'Joey'.

"You're going to lose today, Yami-chan!" says 'Joey,' pulling out his deck. 

Yami-chan yawns. "You're not worth my time, you insignificant speck."

"Yuugi-boy demands Milton Bradley board games!!"

The group looks over at the shortest figure of the group.

"Uh…right…" said Scorch.

"Yuugi-boy demands…stuff! Or else Yuugi-boy will destroy the world!! BWHAHAHA!!"

Everyone promptly turns their back on 'Yuugi.' But not before 'Joey' punches Yuugi-boy in the arm.

"You will pay! Yuugi-boy will strike you down!!"

To be cont…. (maybe)

Yami-chan: I edited! She's losing her winning streak and getting sloppy again. Oh, and I finished up "Yuugi-Boy Demands!"

****


	3. In which stuff happens

****

Pegasus is Stupid the dreaded sequel

Part 3

Let's review where we left off. Bakura stole Joey's Time Wizard and went back to ancient Egypt to find people to play with him and his … dead puppy.

Yami was leading an intrepid band of idiots to find Ash and Gary in order to get the Millennium Puzzle back and then use Ryou's Change of Heart card to turn Yugi good again.

Yugi is off to find Pegasus to replace Giovanni. (Pegasus loses Industrial Illusions he gains Team Rocket…)

Mai is off to find Joey.

Serenity was locked in the Shadow Realm by Bakura. She's probably there for good…

Ryou is waiting patiently with his magazine for his yami to come back.

With that, we can start part 3!

"Can I touch you hair?"

"No."

"Can I touch your dueling deck?"

"HECK NO!"

Misty was just about fed up with Yami's resistance. She needed another plan, since they obviously weren't going to Cerulean City anytime soon.

Nothing came to her. She would need to strive on a little farther in this epic battle of wills. Well, at least she knew his buttons to push…

Yugi stood at the entrance to the Domino City Hospital. Pegasus had been in a coma here since a break in at one of his many homes across the world. The only piece of evidence found was a rubber ducky with a non-existing address on it…

Yugi entered, knowing his purpose. He entered the hospital no problem. After blackmailing Nurse Joy into giving him Pegasus's room number by telling her he knew where Brock was, he went up the stairs to go visit the multi-millionaire.

Yugi found Pegasus' room easily enough. He found Pegasus hooked up to a bunch of machines that at one time Yugi had known the name of. At the moment, he didn't care. Yugi took out a small red and white ball out of his pocket and said the words that no one ever thought he would say, "Kadabra, go!"

The psychic pokemon appeared. "Kadabra, take Pegasus out of his coma." The Kadabra did as it was told. Surprisingly, it worked. Pegasus woke up.

"What… where am I?"

"You're with me, old man and if you know what's good for you, you're coming with me."

"Yugi-boy?!?"

"Don't call me that, freak. It's annoying. We're getting out of here." Now, keep in mind Pegasus has been in a coma thanks to a similar incident that happened to Seto Kaiba in the first fic. He has no idea what the heck is going on. More importantly, he's still in his hospital clothes. What will happen to the poor guy… err… rich guy? Will he change into normal clothes or suffer the same fate as Arthur Dent and have to wear his pajamas throughout three whole chapters!!!?? * Or books, whichever scale you're going by. Who knows, it hasn't been decided yet.

The two of them boarded the waiting helicopter that Yugi conveniently placed there before he broke Pegasus out.

"Okay, I play the card that is the guy in purple and has a staff!"

"Ash, you really should learn the names of these cards. We can't go on calling them what they look like forever."

"Never say never! Never give up, never surrender!"

"Ash?"

"Yeah, Gary?"

"You're way too optimistic for your own good."

"…"

"Wow. The great Pokemon Master is speechless. I _am _good!"

"Shut up, Gary…"

"There's another first! I may make something useful out of you yet!"

Days had passed since Bakura had arrived home. The first day home was fun, but no one wanted to play with him and his puppy. The second day the market place was totally empty. Bakura did make some friends with the royal guard, though. But by day three, no one wanted to talk to him. 

Bakura was sad. He wished his aibou were here. Ryou would give him 'Happy Pills'. After Bakura took those, he would be happy again. Bakura was only allowed a Happy Pill once a week though. Ryou said they were made of pure sugar and not to be taken lightly. Bakura once saw the label for the Happy Pills. They were really called 'Pixy Circles'. ****

For now Bakura sat in the middle of the street, staring at the dead puppy before him. Bakura took off his Millennium Ring and threw it a distance. Then said two words to his puppy that signaled to the villagers that they would be hiding in their homes for a very long time. "Fetch, boy!"

Back at the county fair, Ryou felt a painful jolt. Ryou's eyes widened. A jolt like that could only mean one thing. 

Bakura had taken off the Ring…

Ryou panicked. Yami and the others were long gone by now. There were only two people in the party that were still in the park. Joey and Mai. He had to find them, fast. Ryou ran as fast as he could in the direction where Mai had gone off in search for Joey. Suddenly, something shiny caught Ryou's eye. Ryou went over to the stall to find that it was the classic game of knocking over the milk bottles with a baseball. Taking a closer look at the prizes, Ryou gasped.

There before him was the Manacle of Osiris. The prize board said you had to knock over all three bottles to win it. _Win it?_ Ryou couldn't believe it. All he had to do was knock over three silly milk bottles and the chance to prove paranormal archeology was his!

But what about his yami? Ryou was faced with the hardest decision in his life. Follow his life's dream and prove himself to the world or do the morale thing and find Joey and Mai to find his yami. Ryou started to sweat. How could he decide? Eventually, Ryou's conscience got the best of him and he ran off to find Mai and Joey.

Meanwhile Mai had found Joey asleep on the teacup ride. _Awwww, how cute, _she thought, _Wait, NO! I can't think like that. I need to concentrate on my mission! _Indeed, Mai was right. She did need to concentrate on her mission and Joey looks really cute when he sleeps!

Mai heard Joey mumbling in his sleep and decided to listen before she made her move. "mmmmmmmmmbmbbmmbmbbbbb *snore* yeah, yeah, OHHHHHHh, Yeah! Gigantic Raisins!!!!" ***

Mai sweat-dropped. She poked Joey awake. 

"Ahhhhhhhhhh! THE ALIENS ARE COMING!!!!!!!! They're coming to take my pizza!"

"Settle down, Joseph!"

"Mai?"

"Yes, it's me Joey."

"What are you doing here, Mai?"

"I'm here to give you what you deserve, Joseph! I really hope you won't take this the wrong way, but I'm giving this to you whether you like it or not!"

With that, Mai grabbed Joey and dunked him in order to give him the biggest French kiss the world has ever seen. Joey was surprised at first, but then lost his balance and Mai continued to kiss Joey full on the lips on the ground.

This went on for a while. They would have gone on a lot longer if it hadn't been for Ryou showing up.

Ryou himself could hardly believe it was happening. "Mai? … Joey!?" The two stopped what they were doing to stare at Ryou while the white-haired bishie's eyes were ready to bulge out. 

"Hey, Ryou… "Joey managed to say, " What's up?" Ryou shook his head.

"Now isn't the time to be asking questions. My yami took off the Millennium Ring! He's not sane enough to realize his very existence is in danger! Now, while you two look for him, I have a prize I need to win." With that, Ryou disappeared into the crowd leaving a very confused Mai and Joey. 

The two really had no idea what to do, so they went back to French kissing… nothing more, just kissing… rather passionately…

****

3 hours and $210 later…

"I must defeat the milk bottles…" Poor Ryou had been after the Manacle for quite some time now and he was getting pretty annoyed.

"Look, buddy," said the game keeper, " there are other people waiting in line to play this game. Let someone else take a try at it." Ryou looked up at the gamekeeper, then at the rather long line of people behind him, waiting to play the game.

"Alright," said Ryou very unRyou like. " If you all want to play a game so badly, I'll play a game with you. But if I win, I'll send all your souls to the Shadow Realm, just like this…" Without a second thought, Ryou sent the gamekeeper to the Shadow Realm. When Ryou turned around, the line was gone. 

"Good." With that, Ryou resumed his battle with the milk bottles.

"Rock, Paper, Scissors! Rock, Paper, Scissors! Rock, Paper, Scissors! Ha! I win two out of three, _Tristan_!"

"Three out of five then, _T'ea_!"

Yami was about to lose his patience. You could tell. T'ea and Tristan were constantly arguing and Misty was continually trying to hit on him! If they were back in ancient Egypt this problem would have never erupted. Although it was very tempting at the moment to send everyone to the Shadow Realm, Tristan and T'ea weren't really doing anything wrong and he needed Misty to find the boys with the Millennium Puzzle. It was all very frustrating. 

Another reason he couldn't send them to the Shadow Realm, he didn't have the Puzzle.

"Yami, you're hair is nice and silky… and warm… and OUCH! Really pointy!" 

Yami chuckled. At least he still had some defenses. 

Pegasus was still very much confused. Yugi had explained it all to him in a very short amount of time, something about taking over a multi-million-dollar company of thieves. 

Pegasus looked down, he was still in his pajamas. More then a few things disturbed him. One, Yugi Moto was now an evil maniac. Two, he never did find Rika to have a re-match and three, and what did that girl mean by 'you will be honored to be in my next fanfic'. Pegasus didn't know what a fanfic was, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to find out. All he remembered was going into a coma after the girl had done something horrible. He also vaguely remembered Seto Kaiba being there.

The helicopter touched down and he and Yugi got out of it. It was a large building. Men with Roman battle armor on guarded the doors. 

Yugi smiled. His ingenious plan was working perfectly. Soon he would prove to the world that he could survive without the menacing spirit of the Puzzle. That would be wonderful revenge, but the real prize, would be taking over the world. And to start, he would take control of Team Rocket. With Pegasus, Industrial Illusions, then the Turtle Game Shop, then the Rare Hunters, then the world! Of course, there was always the added bonus of getting all the millennium items.

Meanwhile, back at the fair, Giovanni was waking up from his traumatic episode with Bakura and his dead puppy. Looking over to the side, he noticed a small rubber, bouncing ball. Upon closer inspection, he noticed there was an address on the rubber ball. Forgetting about the events earlier, he picked up it to find the mysterious address.

"Hey, freak! Nice necklace! Makes you look real manly!" 

Gary was having a very difficult time maintaining his pride. Not only did he wear an upside down pyramid around his neck, he was sharing a body with his rival. In any other situation, that would have been sick, but the whole thing had been forced upon them.

All Gary did was walk around, resuming his mission to be the best pokemon trainer in the world, while his rival tried to figure out how to play the stupid card game. Ash wasn't having much success, being the dense one he is.

/Gary, this is boring! You come in here and help me figure this card game out!/

// I refuse to help you, of all people. I'm trying to be a pokemon master here!//

/But that's my dream! Besides, I don't want to be stuck in this thing all day!/

//I can't let you out, people will notice the difference.//

/Awwwwww…/

//Like I said, I'll make something out of you yet, loser.//

/I miss Pikachu…/

//Wimp…//

As the two merrily walked along, they encountered a band of four travelers. Ash recognized one of them.

/MISTY! Hey, what's she doing with that one guy… is she…/

//Yes, Ash. Your girlfriend is hitting on him.//

/I'm going to kill him, Gary, if you don't mind./ he said almost too calmly.

//Not at all….// 

As Gary worried about Ash's sanity, which we all know was lost a very long time ago, Yami noticed the two…err. Actually, he would only see Gary, but, well, you know what I mean. Yami noticed the Millennium Puzzle around Gary's neck. 

"Misty?"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Is that boy who we're looking for?" 

Misty was rather disappointed. The search was over.

"Yes. that's Gary." 

Yami smirked unnaturally. "Gary Oak! I demand you give me back my Millennium Puzzle!" 

Gary beamed. "You want it? You can have it!" Just as Gary said the words, Ash suddenly took over.

"Ash?" questioned Misty.

"You, with the unnatural hair!" 

Yami growled, no one, and I mean no one, insulted his hair like that.   
"If you want the Puzzle back, you'll have to battle me for it! You gave it to us in the first place without asking, you can't just waltz back in and take it back so easy!"

"Fine. I'll battle you for the Puzzle."

At the exact same time, Ash pulled out the dueling deck and Yami took out a pokeball. 

"Let's Go!" 

****

The Obscure Battle…

Both boys started out with three heart points each.

Yami called out Bayleaf.

Ash summoned the Kuriboh.

Upon seeing their former masters, Bayleaf (who would forever be Ash's 'love monkey') glomps Ash. The Kuriboh goes over to Yami, stares at the former Pharaoh for a moment, then cuddles in his arms, and cries. This is all very, very cute. Both competitors sweatdrop and continue the game, even though the Kuriboh refuses to let go of Yami.

Yami started out. He rolled a pair of die. "Ha! A pair of threes! Do not pass go, do not collect $200, Go directly to jail!"

"Blast you," replied Ash as he rolled a hexagonal die. "A 7! That means I'm out of jail and since the jail is so close to your heart points, I think I'll have to take one out using… The Dark Magician!"

"No! Not my favorite card!"

"Yes, now Dark Magician… DARK MAGIC ATTACK!" 

And one of Yami's heart points disappeared. 

"Ash, you stupid moron! Why can't you just let Yami win so I don't have to travel around with you anymore?!" yelled Misty

"There is no way that I'm letting this… pointy haired freak control my life! This is revenge! Wait a minute, I thought you liked me?"

"When did I ever say that? You're a moron Ash Ketchum and there's nothing anyone can do about it!"

"Well, you're a pig-headed red head!"

"SAY THAT TO MY FACE!"

"YOU'RE PIG-HEADED!"

"That's enough!" interrupted Yami. "We have a game to finish. And I plan on keeping my title of King of Games, so both of you shut up so we can get this over with!"

"But, sweetie…"

"AND STOP CALLING ME THAT!"

****

Ooooooo, suspense! What will happen next? Who will win the game that makes absolutely no sense? (It'll get worse, trust me) Will Ryou defeat the milk bottles and get his yami sane again? Will Yugi succeed in taking over the world? Will Pegasus be stuck in his pajamas for the rest of the fic? Will Seto and Mokuba ever make an appearance in this fic? Will Tristan and T'ea end up killing each other? What will happen to Giovanni and the poor villagers in Egypt? And what does 'the girl' and the rubber items have a connection with? And where is Kaiba?

When will I learn to stop? Why am I doing this? Why are you reading this? Wouldn't you rather be reading 'Lost Souls'? When will the next chapter be out? 

… I DON'T KNOW??? DON'T KILL ME!

* Ummm, you would have had to read 'The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy' (all five of them) to understand that one, or at least up to the fourth book.

*** Sorry, 'Gigantic Doughnuts' is copywrited. :-)

**** Pixy Stix only in little circles…

Yami-chan: Heh heh heh. *glomps Bakura and Priest Seto*


	4. Shadi gets convicted

****

Pegasus is Stupid the Dreaded Sequel

Part 4

I'm so sorry I didn't get this out sooner! I apologize that this is such a short chapter, but the next one is longer, the conclusion and funnier! I promise! I have half of it written already. Bear with me! 

Thanks to:

Rambling Chaos and Girl Bakura, who both solved the "Who is Ryou" mystery type thing. You both get your rubber chicken. Thank you so much! The answer is Dib from Invader Zim! My favorite character I might add. Thank you for your patience and please, enjoy. Yami-chan thinks I'm too polite, but like I care.

****

Last we left off Ash and Yami were still in their fight for the Millennium Puzzle. Bakura is still in Ancient Egypt. You can decide what Mai and Joey are doing by yourself and Ryou is still at the booth trying to prove the existence of paranormal archeology. He still hasn't succeeded. Serenity is in the Shadow Realm, courtesy of Bakura. Everyone else is watching the match with Yami and Ash.

"This is going absolutely nowhere!" exclaimed Yami. "Why don't you just give me my Puzzle and we'll be done with this?"

"…Only if you give me my girlfriend back."

"WHAT?! That's what this was about!?" Misty stepped forward. "Ash… I didn't know you cared about me so much…"

"Misty, you're the only thing that keeps me going everyday besides my morning cup of coffee. I thought of you every single day we were apart. I missed you so much."

"Oh, Ash!" 

With that the two of them kissed passionately. For quite a while…

"Ummm… Excuse me… spirit of the Puzzle needs the Puzzle back…now…sort of…. kind of… in the next hour maybe…possibly… maybe… please?" 

The whole scene disgusted Tea, but only because Tristan thought it was "kind of romantic". 

****

Don't worry, Yami got his Puzzle back and Ash and Misty made up, followed by hot, steamy… swimming party… 

Gary only slapped Ash upside the head and left before anything more weird stuff came up.

Yami sobbed over his retrieved Puzzle. Tristan wanted to touch the Puzzle but Yami got… protective…

"My precious…"

****

Yeah… Tea then proceeded to flirt with Yami.

"Good grief, not another one! I'm sick of having girls flock all over me!" 

Tea thought this over for a moment then replied, "Get used to it, hot stuff." 

Yami sighed. The game master had been defeated.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

"No! The one evil scheme I've ever done in my entire life and it's not even working! Now I know how my yami feels." Ryou was having quite the frustrating time. The Bracelet still wasn't his. He had already sent everyone else who wanted it to the shadow realm, including some dead guy named Imhotep, but that wasn't important right now. What was really important was what Yugi was doing right at that moment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

"No, Pegasus, you don't understand. I am not Yugi-boy, never have been, never will be. So stop it!!!!!"

"What happened to you?"

"I ditched my yami and left him to fend off all the fangirls for himself. Every bit of torture he gets, he deserves."

"This isn't quite how I remember you, though."

Yugi sighed. "Let me explain this in a way you would understand. I am evil. You are going to help me take over the world."

"…Why?" 

Yugi grabbed Pegasus by the shirt collar. "Because I said so." Yugi replied, a bit too menacingly. "The plan is to steal the Millennium Items."

"How do you plan to get them from Shadi?" 

Yugi smirked. "I've got that all under control."

"Shadi, this court finds you guilty of causing the insanity of the following people; Maximillion Pegasus, Malik Ishtar, Yugi Motoh, Ryou Bakura, Bakura: Spirit of the Ring, yourself, thousands of muses whose authors you have given extra Items to, the said authors, Unrealistic's little brother (Quantum Maniac), the Dark Magician, Genji, Yume, Asura, Sage, Ryon, … Pikachu, Imhotep, Kirby, Rishid (the one from Gundam Wing), Rishid (Malik's friend), Scooby Doo, Star Ship Captain James T. Kirk, the disco monkeys, the bobble heads, Giovanni, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac and Happy Noodle Boy, Zim, the Irken race, the human race, mary sues, Excel Excel, Iwata, Ford Prefect, Lamb chop and her play-along friends, Mario, Luigi, Blue, Steve, rubber chickens of doom, rubber ducks of doom, Agent Smith, Elrond, Frodo, the dead bodies in the second movie, the disco Diglet, (Quantum Maniac is typing now), the Valcons who renounce underwear (Unrealistic is back in control after her brother started typing while she was cleaning her room) and almost everyone else in the universe. Your sentence is a payment of 25 cents and retirement from guarding the Millennium Items. Fork over the Ankh and Scales."

Shadi was speechless.

"…"

See. He didn't even know half these people. How could he possibly be guilty of causing their insanity?

"Senui, how could you do this to me?" 

The spirit of the Scales smirked while sitting calmly on the judge's seat and merely said.

"Give me the Items, you stinking mortal." 

Ankharahere gave Shadi a hopeless look and that was that.

Yugi smirked again. "Yes, sooooooo taken care of."

****

Ancient Egypt

Bakura was still waiting for his puppy to retrieve the Ring. He must have thrown it really far for the puppy not to be back yet. Every once in a while, Bakura would start to feel sick. The villagers watched in joyous amazement as Bakura started to disappear into the shadow realm and without the Ring; he would be trapped there with no return. All they had to do was wait. 

****

In the meantime, Ryou was feeling the separation between him and his yami. If Bakura wasn't found soon, it could be deadly for Bakura. But, the Bracelet… it was so close…

"It is so close…" Ryou agonized. "But, I can't leave my yami, it's the Bracelet, or him." Ryou weighed his choices. On one hand he'd have the Bracelet of Anubis, letting him have unlimited power and causing everyone to bow at his feet. On the other hand was his yami, the spirit who abused him constantly since the day they met, yet was the only person who really understood him. With one last longing look at his one chance to claim fame, he left to go find Yami, Te'a and Tristan and in the odd chance that they had not disappeared, Joey and Mai too.

****

By strange coincidence, the same three were headed towards the fairgrounds as Yami had retrieved his Puzzle. But what is this? So are Yugi and Pegasus! You'll have to wait for the next chapter though, but don't worry, it'll be the last one. But, what about Seto or Giovanni? Where are they? And did the same incident happen to Pegasus. What exactly are these strange rubber items that keep appearing with addresses on them?

Deep in the middle United States was the address. At that address were Seto Kaiba and Giovanni… of Team Rocket. An evil … something was heard throughout the basement. Suddenly, a phone rang. The evil sound ceased. 

"Hello, Yami-chan here. Oh, hi Unrealistic, what up? Yeah. Uh huh. No, sorry. I still don't have an evil anything… Stop mocking me with your evil laugh, Unrealistic! You're not being very Hikari -like! Um, no, I haven't written anything more, have you? What do you mean 'no'!? You've been on this so-called writer's block for four months! You've got to do something about it! The Rubber Items? No, I haven't thought of any more, when I do, I'll send out more addresses. Al right, I'll see you tonight then. Bye."

****

End of Chapter Four

From the Desk of Unrealistic,

Yami-chan: …

Unrealistic: It's okay, yami, not every evil person needs a laugh. Look at Zim! He has an evil cough for crying out loud!

Yami-chan: But it's not fair. I need an evil something The Rubber Items aren't enough! 

Unrealistic: Leave that up to me. Now go along a type up Lost Souls.

Yami-chan: Okay… Waitaminute, you're my hikari, you can't tell me what to do!

Unrealistic: I am merely expressing the views of the persons who reviewed.

Yami-chan: The Reviewers can't help you forever, hikari. One of these days, you'll be all by yourself.

Unrealistic: Yet, in a matter of speaking, you'll still be with me. As we share the Millennium Pen.

Yami-chan: Just go watch Excel Saga or write or something!

Unrealistic: I shall blindly obey!

That didn't turn out bad. It's the worst chapter I've written though. I'm seriously slacking off. SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!!! By the way, next chapter… anyone up for Star Trek references and a couple appearances by Suuichi Kurama Minamino aka our favorite fox boy.

Until Next Time,

Unrealistic :-)


	5. the endof your sanity

****

Pegasus Is Stupid: The Dreaded Sequel

Chapter 5

By Unrealistic

We last left our heroic heroes trying to find each other in a hopelessly ending field of insanity and doom and pain. Yami has finally rid himself of the female menace that is Misty Whateverherlastnameis, only to find himself stuck with Tea… again.

"So, Yami, how exactly do you think we're going to pull this off, if at all?" 

"I thought you were supposed to be the optimistic one. You know, friendship, heart of the cards, you can do anything if you believe in yourself type of thing." Yami retorted.

"She's just rethinking her morals. Now she's a threat to all _man_kind." Tristan remarked hatefully.

"That's sexist!"

"Only if you have the mind to think about it."

Yami decided he would never hear the end of it. It was a rather scary thought. But he had the Puzzle now and he was going to get Yugi back to normal even if it was the last thing he ever did! Strange, Yami recounted he said something similar as he was being locked in the Puzzle. Weird. Stupid Heishin and his stupid takeover plans.

Yugi and Pegasus continued their helicopter ride from the hospital. Little did they know about their passengers underneath them.

"Heero, are you sure this was a good idea?!"

"Would you rather have jumped out of the window at 50 stories?!"

"No argument here, buddy!"

Skipping away form our two hitchhikers, Yugi was again explaining his revised evil plan.

"We will take control of the Rubber Items by giving the authors bait they cannot resist."

"What is that?"

"Bishonen."

"Like me?" Yugi gave Pegasus an awkward glance and shook his head sorrowfully.

"Welcome to the space dock of the United Federation of Planets. How may I help you?" Pegasus was greatly confused. More so than any other time. With all the technology of the satellites, no one had detected this was here. 

"I want to see Kirk."

"Captain Kirk and his crew are on a mission right now trying to save the world, I'm sorry, you'll have to wait until he gets back." Yugi narrowed his eyes. Drat. There goes that idea. The two evil villains walked away.

"So, what do we do now?" asked Pegasus.

"Do something so completely wacky and random, no one will believe it."

"Like what?"

"We'll time travel and steal the Enterprise E. They have plenty of letters left in the alphabet, they won't miss this one."

The villains did so. Note that Captain Picard was not happy about this, but they threw him out to the Borg and Riker was able to finally take command of the ship. In turn, he was thrown out to the Borg and Yugi assumed command. Yugi had Data the android modified to track bishonen. Deanna and Beverly were angry at the fact that their husband and probable love interest (respectively) was now Borg. They were not happy and everyone knows what women do when they get angry.

That night they gave Pegasus the dreaded Starfleet medical exam. Modified by Beverly to be as painful as possible. No one saw Pegasus again. And there was much rejoicing.

Suuichi … no Kurama … No, Youko… I don't know! The Red Haired Minamino Child walked to school that day, without a clue what he was in for. He was used to the fan girls, yes. He was even used to the fan boys, yes. He was prepared to fight demons, yes. He was prepared to baby-sit his little human brother, yes. He was not prepared to be kidnapped by Yugi by being beamed aboard the starship Enterprise. On the hull of the Enterprise was no longer it's number (NCC-1701-E), but the address of the Rubber Items. Now, Kurama knew all about Star Trek, it had an animated series after all. He had also dealt with kidnappings before, so the order of his questions came as no surprise. 

"Permission to come aboard, Captain? …Wait…Where am I?!"

"Permission granted. You're on the Enterprise, we're going to hand you over to the authors in order to get stuff." Yugi explained rather bluntly. 

"Not again!" Kur- ichi Mina- ko exclaimed.

At warp 42, they left for the address. 

Once at the address, the said authors took … the Red Haired Minamino Child gladly. Yugi was given the Rubber Items. Yugi then headed off to the Fair, waiting for him there was the ancient Pharaoh himself.

"I'm not that ancient!"

Speak for yourself spiky haired freak. It was now time for the climax of this fanfic, if you can even call this fanfic with a plot anyway.

"Yami…" Yugi said menacingly.

"Yugi Motou…" Yami said just as menacingly. They stared at each other for quite the while. Tea and Tristan had gotten into another fight. Something about if Tribbles are related for Kuribohs or not. As if by a certain miracle, Joey and Mai appeared. When asked where they were the entire fic, they responded that they had gotten married in Vegas following Joey's newfound freedom from his sister. 

"It's the smartest thing I ever did!" proclaimed Joey happily.

"That's so sweet of you, Joey." Mai said. "I just don't know if that's a good thing for you to say or not. Regarding your intelligence, that is." Joey slouched in sadness. No one cared. 

"Yugi Motou, I want to know what you've been doing." Yami demanded.

"Or what? You'll ground me?"

"I may just have to do that, yes. Yugi, why are you doing this? It isn't right!"

"Shut up! I have the Rubber Items now! There's nothing you can do to stop me!" A collective gasp from the audience was formed. 

"Yugi, why are you doing this? This isn't like you at all!" Yugi glared up at Yami. It was not a very nice glare. Yami came to a realization. "This isn't about your height, is it?" Yugi snarled.

"Yes! It is! No one pays any attention to me! You said yourself that I'm a shrimp!"

"Incidentally, what is a shrimp?"

"See, I told you! You don't even know what a shrimp is!" Yami growled. His cover was blown after all these years. He now did the only thing he could do. 

"Yugi, I'm sorry." He then held up the Change of Heart card, used the Puzzle to realize its powers into the real world. Change then did its work on Yugi. Yugi stood stunned for a moment. 

"What happened?" Was his one question. It was decided they would wait to tell him until he was old enough/ tall enough. But they didn't tell Yugi that, of course. At this point, Ryou Bakura came running onto the scene, looking very anxious. Yugi, being turned back into the naive one he is, called out to his friend.

"Hi, Ryou! How are you today?" Ryou's response was a bit hasty.

"No time to talk. My yami is in serious trouble. He somehow got back into ancient Egypt and took off the Ring! We have to do something!"

"How do you know he is back in Ancient Egypt?" asked Yami.

"Because that's where every plot eventually comes to in Yugioh fanfiction and this is the last chapter in the fic! He has to be there!"

General consensus concluded that they only one way to go back to Ancient Egypt. That one way was to collect all of the Millennium Items. So, their first stop was to go visit Malik, Isis and Rishid. When at the museum, they were told that the three of them were on vacation in the United States, hitting any tourist attraction they could find. This left the gang with their last option. When in doubt about the Millennium Items: go find Shadi.

"I don't want to talk to you people." These were Shadi's first words. They were talking to him from behind plexus glass and one at a time. Yami went first. 

"We need your help."

"I don't have to help you if I don't want to, you stupid pharaoh. It's your fault I'm stuck here in the first place."

"If we get you out of here, will you help us?"

"I'll think about it." Yami had finally had enough bickering by now. He was ready to bring out the big guns.

"Let me put it this way. If you don't help us, we'll go out and capture Bandit Keith and then make sure he's your cell- mate."

That was convincing enough for Shadi. They bailed him out in all pennies that Yugi had been saving up since he was five and the gang was off to Egypt after that. Since Shadi didn't have his AMAZING guardian-like powers anymore, they had to fly there. By freak coincidence, the plane actually turned out to be the Enterprise. Luckily, it was Kirk's ship, here to help save the day and not Deanna and Beverly out for revenge. 

The ride was filled with half the group trying to figure out if Chekov's Russian accent was real or fake, Hikaru Sulu not believing they were transporting _anime _characters to Egypt, a run-in with the Klingons who ran away after seeing the cuteness of Ryou and Yugi and Spock trying to find a logical explanation for everything that was happening. He never found it.

"I vish people vould just believe zat my accent vas weal." Chekov complained.

"Same with mine." Ryou agreed. "It never fails."

"I hear you. Say, did you know zat ze roller coaster is a Wussian Inwention?"

"Err, right." 

They finally made it the Egypt, in record time. 42 seconds, to be exact, at warp 9.9. They walked across the sand for the longest time. Joey complained.

"Are we there yet?" Shadi replied to this.

"No." Five minutes later, Joey piped up again.

"Are we there yet?"

"NO!"

"…Are we there yet?"

"NO! Stop asking me that question! Would you rather ride that evil camel again?!" Joey said that, no, he wouldn't. Tristan agreed. Tea then proceeded to ask where this evil camel was. Tristan and Tea then got into another fight. Yami and Yugi tried to get them to stop, it didn't help much. Soon, everyone was in the fight. 

Ryou had taken enough of this nonsense. He pulled out a Communication Mirror which he had taken from Yugi who had in turn taken it from Kurama who had in turn taken it from Yusuke who in turn got it as a gift from Boton who in turn got it from Koenma to give to Yusuke as it had been especially made by Montgomery Scott who made it out of extra warp core parts…and duct tape.

He didn't get time to use it though. His plan was to contact Kirk again to see if he could get beamed out, but he actually would have gotten Boton instead, who was currently using hers to put on makeup for her Halloween costume. A sandstorm blew up and picked up everyone and brought them all to the exact location they needed to be: Yami's tomb. 

Ryou blinked for a second. "Wait a minute… I thought I sent him to the Shadow Realm." Referring to the sandstorm.

"This is really disheartening, seeing my own final resting place and all. Do you think we could get this over with fast…" At the sound of Yami's voice, the burial site started to glow mysteriously. No one knew why. Not even Shadi, but it was figured that going to Yami's tomb would probably give them some answers

A few seconds later, the group found themselves in Ancient Egypt. In a market place. In Cairo, even though Cairo really didn't exist back then. It is a modern day city. Since it is modern day, Bakura wouldn't like it very much. So, why our story is here, no one knows. 

Indeed the first thing they spotted was Bakura half faded away by consequence of not having the Ring on. 

"Hikari!" Bakura shouted happily. 

"Bakura, you stupid tomb robber! What are you doing!?" Ryou exclaimed.

"I'm playing with my puppy! See!" Bakura pointed to his dead puppy, which was still very much dead and decomposing. 

"Bakura, I want you to put on that Ring right now, you here me. If you don't, I won't give you sugar for a month." Bakura knew a threat when he heard on, so he obeyed his sane hikari and put on the Ring. Yami found it quite amusing to see his arch -enemy…err, one of them anyway, walking with one arm, one leg and a head. The rest of him had faded away already. Once putting the Ring back on, Bakura returned to his full self. Unfortunately for Ryou, Bakura's sanity was not back yet. 

"There's only one thing I can do to turn him back to normal." Ryou said finally. The rest of the group watched on in interest. Ryou took a small cassette player out of his pocket and pressed play. The following song played as the group, winced, laughed and pulled back in disgust. 

__

Dead Puppies, Dead Puppies,

Dead Puppies aren't much fun.

They don't come, when you call

They don't chase squirrels at all.

Dead Puppies aren't much fun.

My Puppy died, late last fall

He's still rotting in the hall.

Dead Puppies aren't much fun, no no no.

Mom says Puppy's days are through

She's going to throw him in the stew

Dead Puppies aren't much fun.

* More singing: Refrain *

Singer: Come on everyone sing along, okay?

* More singing refrain *

Singer: One more time for Roman Resca!

*Refrain is sung once more*

Everyone sat in silence for a moment, not knowing exactly now to respond to the song Ryou had just played. 

"That is so morbid!" Tea finally exclaimed. Everyone hastily agreed. Except for Tristan, for obvious reasons explained a few chapters back. Eyes were now on Bakura and Ryou, finally united. What would happen next? Bakura stood up, looked Ryou straight in the eye and spoke.

"Hikari…"

"Yes, yami?"

"Now that I am back to normal again and the author has to write for my real character for the first time ever, I must ask you a question."

"What question would that be?" Ryou asked a little nervously.

"When will this torturous fanfic be over?" 

"I don't know. Guys, do any of you know." Ryou asked the rest of the group. The general knowledge was that the end of the fic was not known. 

"I think we have to get back to our own time. Then maybe this fic will be over. That's how it normally happens. I mean, everything is back to normal." Yugi put in.

"What's that in the distance?" Mai asked.

"I don't know. It kinda looks like "The End" sign." Joey responded.

"We have to get out of here," Shadi said, "Unless we want to get trapped in Ancient Egypt until the next fanfic, if the is one!" 

Yami and Bakura debated. They were perfectly fine with staying, as this was their home turf. The group had no idea how to get back. It looked as if they were going to be stuck in Ancient Egypt for the rest of their lives. But behold, by shear will of the author and her pet plot hole, they were transported back to the Fair where this whole infernal adventure had started in the first place. 

Or, if you want to get really technical, where this whole infernal sequel had started. 

****

The End

As always, we must find out what happened to everyone afterwards. Admit it, this is your favorite part. I know it's mine. This is when I get to be even weirder then possible with a fic 'cause I don't have to have a plot!

Yugi: Went back to work with his grandpa at the game shop. Still unknowingly has the Rubber Items. Starts a "Split Personality Club" with Ryou. Next week's assignment: Bring your other half.

Yami: Went with Yugi, just to make sure no one turned him evil again.

Joey: He and Mai settled down in the city of Domino and raised a family of themselves and two children, both of whom like to annoy their father by acting like dogs.

Tea: Still president of the Anime Women Torture the Anime Guys Society.

Tristan: Lost the contest. Had to join Tea's group.

Seto: Still locked up in Yami-chan's basement after being lured in with the Rubber Items from the first "Pegasus is Stupid". Is currently dressed in his priest outfit.

Mokuba: Still running Capsule… I mean, Kaiba Corp. Is dating Bra, so he'll probably have both companies soon.

Ryou: Is still trying to prove the existence of paranormal archeology.

Bakura: Helped Ryou finally get the Manacle of Osiris at a garage sale across the street. After helping Ryou get through events that looked suspiciously like the movie "The Mummy Returns", Bakura becomes good friends with Imhotep and Ryou gets on the cover of "Pyramids Magazine".

Shadi: Is currently on probation. In light of the recent events, he becomes a die- hard Trekkie.

Isis, Malik and Rished: Never get back from vacation. While visiting Roswell, they were abducted by a little green alien named Zim. The Millennium Rod and Millennium Necklace were never seen on Earth again.

Kirk's Enterprise: Is currently on a mission to save Isis, Malik and Rished.

Picard's Enterprise: Data is in command. It's continuing mission. To seek out new bishonen and boldly go where no man (or android) (or woman) has gone before, also to find Picard and Riker… when they get around to it. 

Picard and Riker: Still Borg Drones. I'll have someone rescue them when I feel like being nice.

Pegasus: Dead for real this time and he ain't coming back… I think…

Serenity: In the Shadow Realm beating up random Duel Monsters.

Dib: Sues Ryou for copying his personality.

Kurama: Well…

****

Scene: Yami-chan's basement. Rubber Items HQ.

Kurama: What are you going to do to me?

Unrealistic: Don't worry about it. We're just going to get you standard Starfleet Medical Exam. *Insert dramatic music* Come on! It's not _that_ bad!

Yami-chan: Your category, not mine.

Unrealistic: Just between you and me. What are we going to do with Kurama?

Yami-chan: Well, did you get the Idunn Box?

Unrealistic: NO! We are not going to change him into Youko! I like him just the way he is!

Yami-chan: Youko!

Unrealistic: Suuichi!

Yami- chan: Youko!

Unrealistic: Suuichi!

Kurama: Can we get this exam over with? I need to get back to the Dark Tournament.

Yami-chan: You're not the one keeping him in your basement, so therefore he gets turned into Youko!

Unrealistic: Drat you and your logic. 

Yami-chan: :-)

Yami-chan: Okay, Kurama, take off your shirt.

Kurama: 0_0 Why?

Unrealistic: Well, it's either you take off your shirt and let Yami-chan give you a shot in the arm, or you take off your pants and we administer the shot another way. I think everyone in this room would prefer the arm. Though, some people who are reading might want otherwise.

Kurama: *still 0_0 * Okay. 

Well, after giving Kurama the shot, which contained the fluids of the Idunn Box. He immediately turned into Youko, making Yami-chan a very happy authoress and I'm sure making quite a few reviewers who actually know what's going on very happy too. Youko is now in Yami-chan's basement to live out the rest of his days with Seto and Giovanni.

Yami-chan: But, I never wanted Giovanni in the first place! Can't you get rid of him somehow?

Unrealistic: Why me? Can't you do that?

Yami-chan: Your fic, genius. 

Unrealistic: Right…How about Giovanni escapes only to be captured by the fashion police headed by Mai?

Yami- chan: Works for me. :-)

****

Authors Notes: Wow. I can't believe I finished this. I just can't believe it! It's done!!!!!! Unless I write a third one… NO! I WILL WRITE ANOTHER! I REFUSE TO DO ANOTHER ONE!

Yami-chan: You did it for Duo's Secret.

Unrealistic: I was young and naïve…I didn't know any better. 

Anyway, I still can't believe I finished this. The next series I'm working on is, well, two of them. The one I'll probably get done first is a crazy Kurama series. In first fic he has to fight a demon in the grocery store while shopping with his mother and little brother. The one after that is Thanksgiving at Kurama's house. Kurama is cooking for his friends and family. He finally gets so fed up he turns into Youko. Inspired by Yami-chan.

Yami-chan: INSPIRED?!?!?! I THOUGHT OF THE IDEA!!!!!

Moving on, the next series is Star Trek: Original Series. A crazy and odd Borg goes back in time and tries to assimilate little Kirk and the rest of the crew. He fails miserably after suffering from the hands of the kids.

Did I mention I'm finally done with Pegasus is Stupid? I did? Oh, well, just gloating. This puts a great deal off my back.

I so appreciate the reviews you guys write. You all rock so much. I love you guys.

Yami-chan: You are way too polite.

Unrealistic: :-)

Yami-chan: Stupid, dimwitted hikaris.

As a sorry attempt to advertise. Go read Lost Souls. NOW! I demand it of you!

Yami-chan: You're being very unhikari like.

Unrealistic: It doesn't help that you took over my body. 

Yami-chan: All bow before the power of the Millennium Pen!


End file.
